Death

Death is a crazy thing. I never thought I was afraid of it, until most recently. As of last night, I was forced to deal with the thought of losing my Pappy. For as long as I can remember he's been an essential part of my life. From laying on the floor coloring with my sister and myself, living with us as we grew up, and being present for my wedding reception. Yesterday he finally was brought home from the hospital, just not on the terms which I would have rejoiced over. He has come home to be comfortable and with family. Hospice has joined our family to make his journey a little more peaceful than if he were hooked up to machines at a hospital. Eric and I went to see him last night and as I came in he was sleeping, hopefully with out pain. Since he has come home, he has remained a sleep and unresponsive much to all of our sorrow. Yes, I have had some breakdowns, but I try to remain strong for my family during this time. I guess if I write about it, I may accept it better.
To add to this traumatic time, my cousin's were in a horrific car accident on the way back from my uncle's viewing. They lost their grandfather and father. Their mother has a broken back and each of them have sustaining injuries. I guess what they say is true. When it rains it pours.
I leave for vacation on Sunday and all I can hope for is that when I return I still have time to say good bye. Not that I want to keep Pappy in his discomfort, but because all of this comes at a very difficult time for my family to accept death. I can only pray that he goes in peace and that the Lord guides him.